He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
