There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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