Who wears a wallet chain?!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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