You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
