you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
