i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
