Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
