You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
