Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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