i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
