My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
