I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
