No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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