therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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