come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i will never coherently bang her
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
