Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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