Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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