Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
