We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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