I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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