does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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