I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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