If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
