He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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