office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
