If you die in college, do you die in real life?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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