And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
