i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Congratulations! We have a period
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