That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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