yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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