There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
