No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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