i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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