whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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