420 ftw
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
