I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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