Apparently you make a good broom.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
