There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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