My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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