too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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