btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
