went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
