My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she peed on how many people?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
