We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
