I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
