can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
