When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
