i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
