is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
