we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
