there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
