We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
