a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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